V-Day 2010

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Submitted by Peter on Sun, Feb 14, 2010

V-Day 2010

Over the course of the first year I was in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, I'd become friends with an elderly couple. I say elderly because the woman was in her mid-seventies and the man was 83 at the time. They would acknowledge their age, but would never consider themselves elderly because the word connotes someone frail. These two were quite active - and quite demanding actually, taking advantage of every assistance that came their way. The woman would say, "Grab a bear when it's coming at you; when it's passed you by, it's a greased pig." So, that's the way it was. In some ways, I was just a pawn in their game. But we had become endeared to each other.

They were different from each other and had married only in the last five years. Survivor wins all the other's assets was the way they'd arranged it. The woman was all business. The man played along, but he once loved to see plays. He loved movies also, and recalled, in his story telling, many scenes from old movies. He would occasionally see movies on an old VHS player, but he hadn't been to a play in years because his wife wouldn't allow herself to enjoy plays and he had given up trying to get her to go along.

In the second year of our friendship, it came to my attention that there would be a presentation of The Vagina Monologues in the city. I did not actually know the contents of the play, but I knew it was a long running and often recognized as ground-breaking. I knew that old Jim would enjoy it. But I had to work it for him. Work it so that the old lady would come along and feel either that it was all for her, or that she was somehow doing it for her husband. After some time, we made a plan to go. There were no excuses available, but, at the last minute, she almost refused to go because she didn't know where we would to park.

Alas, we made it. They had me sit between them. And there it was. The language, even I wasn't prepared for. The old man got a kick out of it. Then I knew why I was between them. Old Jim was grinning and snorting through the production. The old woman squirmed a bit, but I think the she identified with some of it. She would not admit to any such thing though. On the way out of the theater, she said, "What if men had to talk about their private parts that way?"

I think it was the best thing I'd done with them over the two years I was around. I did see them once another year later and the woman had stopped dying her hair a sort of dull ginger color and radiated in silver white.

~ Further ~

The brilliant Eve Ensler in her 2010 TED Talk video
Links related to this post
video of old Jim in St. Bernard Parish, Louisiana

Eve Ensler: Playwright, activist
Eve Ensler created the ground-breaking Vagina Monologues, whose success propelled her to found V-Day, a movement to end violence against women and girls everywhere.